Gray Letters

Well... here I am.
I actually don't know how to beggin this message but... anyways... I think I'm making my best effort. I prayed to You some nights ago and I want to thank you for blowing those scary moments away.
Maybe You'll think that I just come to see You when I'm scared or insecure but actually I really want to believe.
You are my Father. Isn't it? I need really to trust in You...
Dear God I want to apologize for all the bad things I have done, and to confess that actually I...
Well... I feel dead.
I have a big hollow inside and I would like to know if You can heal all these wounds in my soul. I really want to believe in you for ever and never forget you, to stop feeling so sad everyday and to stop wishing to dissapear and never wake up again.
Dear God, please forgive me and help me to feel safe and peaceful.
I can't believe this is the end of my letter but anyways...
This is me.
The real me.